1 phone call

Published June 5, 2012 by thebauer4

Isn’t it amazing how much one phone call can change a persons life? Mike and I have faced several different versions of this, from our 1st home and then second calls from the realtor saying you got it. From receiving the call from the Dr. that Ryan’s perfectly healthy, then the call that Maddy was not perfectly healthy and would have kidney issues. Calls in the middle of the night from a fragile grandma that was in the early stages of dementia and having hallucinations to the dreaded call that Mike’s sister had been killed. I know it is cliche’ but as time passes those calls don’t seem as life threatening or overly joyful as they did the minute that the call was placed. Ryan has been a picture of health his whole life, so far, knock on wood. Maddy, while she does have kidney issues and had a surgery when she was just 3 months old is a very healthy, happy little girl. So the Dr.’s call that once sent me reeling because my second baby was not going to be perfect doesn’t seem so bad today as it did the day I had a melt down blaming myself for all her imperfections. She is perfect. While it was very frightening to receive a call from Mike’s once perfectly quite and very reserved grandmother stating words that would have otherwise never passed through her lips was scary in the middle of the night so long ago today we can look back and think, it was all for a purpose, God had a reason! He had a reason to take Mike’s sister so early on in life, while all of us here on earth would never had made that choice, surely God had a purpose for her in heaven we can not even fathom from this earth. There is a purpose to each and every call that you receive. God makes no mistakes.

I receive a call today at work that sent me reeling. This poor family had circumstances way beyond their control, with good bad and ugly all mixed in in the span of one week. Due to my job I can’t give personal advice to the people who call me but i really wanted to tell this lady, God is working, I know it doesn’t seem that way right now but you will see the beauty in the end. Just watch for it.

Not really sure why this call sent me reeling because it is not something that is new, it is not the 1st or last time these circumstances will happen but today I am sad for this family. Prayers for them today.

 

 

Never needed

Published May 9, 2012 by thebauer4

Last night while I was putting away groceries Mike and I were talking about when the kids are gone and retirement, yes I know that is a long way in the future being we are only 36. But nonetheless he was talking about being excited about grand kids and doing whatever we want when we want. It made me seriously think. I don’t want that, yes yes yes I want grand-babies and yes I want to not work anymore, but right now I can’t imagine what my life would be like if my kids left. Yes we have rough days when I am tired of being a single mommy while Mike plants/harvests. I have days where Ryan truly just wears me out with his mouth and the constant fights. I have days that I wonder how I will ever keep up with the tornado that Maddy has become, but honestly I don’t ever want things to change. Maddy is already starting to become a little girl not a baby and while I love it, it makes me sad. Just this morning she was in the cabinet trying to get her own breakfast (gushers lol). My kids are growing up way to fast and there is no way to stop it. I love who they are and what they are becoming but it leaves me very sad thinking that they will not need me. Yes you always need your mom, God knows I wouldn’t be the person I am without mine, but right now it just doesn’t seem appealing to me to not have my kids in my house each and every day. Then Mike said he believes that is why I want to adopt a child from RR again it made me think. Is that what I am looking for? Am I looking at this the totally wrong way and being totally selfish? Do I just want someone that would stay with me forever? I think I really seriously need to think about this and do a little soul searching. .  .  to be continued.

Never needed

Published May 8, 2012 by thebauer4

Last night while I was putting away groceries Mike and I were talking about when the kids are gone and retirement, yes I know that is a long way in the future being we are only 36. But nonetheless he was talking about being excited about grand kids and doing whatever we want when we want. It made me seriously think. I don’t want that, yes yes yes I want grand-babies and yes I want to not work anymore, but right now I can’t imagine what my life would be like if my kids left. Yes we have rough days when I am tired of being a single mommy while Mike plants/harvests. I have days where Ryan truly just wears me out with his mouth and the constant fights. I have days that I wonder how I will ever keep up with the tornado that Maddy has become, but honestly I don’t ever want things to change. Maddy is already starting to become a little girl not a baby and while I love it, it makes me sad. Just this morning she was in the cabinet trying to get her own breakfast (gushers lol). My kids are growing up way to fast and there is no way to stop it. I love who they are and what they are becoming but it leaves me very sad thinking that they will not need me. Yes you always need your mom, God knows I wouldn’t be the person I am without mine, but right now it just doesn’t seem appealing to me to not have my kids in my house each and every day. Then Mike said he believes that is why I want to adopt a child from RR again it made me think. Is that what I am looking for? Am I looking at this the totally wrong way and being totally selfish? Do I just want someone that would stay with me forever? I think I really seriously need to think about this and do a little soul searching. .  .  to be continued.

Random

Published March 8, 2012 by thebauer4

Since this blog is more about me trying to remember than it is for any other purposes, unless of course for some great reason it goes viral, then it will be a blog used to find homes for the children on Reeces Rainbow. lol But until then it is for my memories.

Right now:

I am in love with the song God’s Not Dead by the Newboys. Check it out here:

http://www.klove.com/music/artists/newsboys/songs/god’s-not-dead-lyrics.aspx

I was singing it in the car the other day and Ryan asked if I could put it on his i-pod. I love the he loves my music and does not just select one type of music to listen to. He is so much more open minded thant I ever was at his age. Speaking of Ryan my favorite things about him right now:

He is so open minded and has a great faith in people. Ryan and his buddies have some sort of a club going and of course when you have a club you have to have rival club, because that is how 8 year olds roll. However the rival club leaders came and requested to be allowed to be part of Ryan’s club the other day and Ryan’s club let them. Without any thought about it, it made me think about my faith. Would I have be able to forgive and forget the injustices that one had placed upon me and just let it go that easy. So proud that Ryan can, as for me I am still working on it. Ryan has a great since of loyalty. His friend lost her dog recently and Ryan is constantly looking for her and taking Charlie for walks trying to find her. Love the dedication he has for his friends. Ryan is the family clown and is always trying to make everyone laugh.

Maddy favorites:

Maddy’s new thing is to grab your face with one hand on each side of your face and make you look directly at her when she has decided she has something really important to tell you. I love that she has such passion to make you stop doing whatever you are and take notice of what she is trying to tell you. She loves to run around the house with no clothing, too funny. Watching her cubby little bottom bounce along is just too much. She is going to be my little fashionist, when she starts wearing clothing again. I brought the mail in the other day and there were a few catalogs in it and she wanted to look at each and every one. Going page by page and pointing at things she wanted. Where did this come from I am sooo not a fashion girl. lol Maddy is growing so fast she now weighs 32 lbs. She still is not talking very clearly but she is talking all the time.

I was telling a friend today that I feel lost in life right now. Not sure why. I don’t feel like my family is finished, Mike doesn’t really agree. I feel like I don’t keep my house the way it should be or how I would like it to be, & why is that? I don’t feel like I ever do enough, say enough or help enough to get the word out about RR and the need of these children. I still pray every night that God will put it in Mike’s heart to adopt Sally or Ashlyn & of course I don’t think God is working fast enough because I have a very hard time with “All in God’s time.” So I know that God is looking down at me laughing this very minute since he knows all and provides all, but again I am not a very patient person. I don’t feel Charlie gets enough time or appreciation in our family. I don’t feel like I tell Mike that I truly do value everything he does for our family. Why are kind words so hard to say to people that truly deserve to hear them? I really want to forgive my mother-in-law but can’t seem to let the past be the past. I worry about B&B every day but never tell anyone that. Easter is fast approaching and I have no ideas for my kiddos Easter baskets. Needing help with that. So there you have it my worry list that I need to work on. Maybe I will make that my to do list instead of my worry list.

Going scrapbooking this weekend, seriously can not wait!!!! YEAH!

prayers,

Mandy

 

Faith

Published February 8, 2012 by thebauer4

I found this today (my pinterest addiction is still going strong):

SO TRUE!

http://weheartit.com/entry/20136175 is the original post I believe.

I also am obsessed with the song Beautiful by Mercy Me. http://youtu.be/7C2o0jHNRuU If you haven’t heard it and this link doesn’t work please google it. I was looking through all the little lovies on RR today and that song came on and I truly believe it represents all those little ones perfectly.  ” You’re beautiful You were meant for so much more than all of this You’re beautiful You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His You’re beautiful You’re beautiful You’re meant for so much more than all of this You’re beautiful You’re beautiful You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His”

Read more: MERCY ME – BEAUTIFUL LYRICS http://www.metrolyrics.com/beautiful-lyrics-mercy-me.html#ixzz1lpGvlenM
Copied from MetroLyrics.com

I just wish everyone had the same feelings!

Things to rememeber:

Ryan: love paper airplanes & makes at least 10 a day. hates bed time and getting up in the morning. has a mouth that never ends but can turn around and be the most amazing and caring person ever. Love him!

Maddy: loves her juice in the morning, can’t live without it. Loves to build towers with her stacking boxes. loves legos but only the small ones, you simply can not use any of the others. learning to show emotions with her face when asked what the emotion is, love her confused face way to cute!!

Prayers,

Mandy

My God!

Published January 24, 2012 by thebauer4

Pinned Image

I found this on Pinterst this morning and I can’t get it out of my head must mean I need this today!!!

Always to remember:

Maddy- Loves Woody (oody). Love pony tails and boots. Loves bubbles in her bath and won’t take a bath without them. Takes her baby with her everywhere and especially to watch Oody! 

Ryan- Loves anything camo or Army. Best friend Alex. loves having Drew and Luke over to play/spend the night. Totally into working out with Wii fit.